We do not know

By Amar Jaleel

Can those who haven’t studied the Constitution of the country amend it?

WE, the people of Pakistan, elect and send our wise, virtuous, and educated representatives to the National Assembly. They are the chosen few, who act, take decisions, make and remake laws, and amend the Constitution in the larger interest of the country. They are bestowed with special abilities to become the people’s representatives. Our teachers, technocrats, writers, poets, artists, journalists, scholars, and intellectuals are devoid of such abilities; therefore, they do not qualify to become our representatives in the National and Provincial Assemblies.

Have you read the Constitution of Pakistan? The learned say it is a legal document. Like any legal document it is beyond the comprehension of the common man. In order to understand the Constitution, and Constitution-related riddles one must possess the acumen for solving jigsaw puzzles. Your master’s degree in English literature, and political science won’t help you. An old woman entered the one-room office of Peera-Faqeera & Company. They are advisers. They offer free advice to the perplexed people of the locality. After settling in her seat in front of Peera and Faqeera, she asked, “Do you think my abducted daughter would be allowed by her tormentors to come back to me, and her honour, and chastity would be constitutionally restored?” Peera and Faqeera thought for a while. Faqeera said, “We do not know.”

The old woman cursed the two, then left. The people in the neighbourhood appeared overwhelmed with innumerous amendments in the Constitution that allow even dictators to become legitimate rulers of Pakistan. The neighbours queued up for free counselling with Peera and Faqeera on their constitutional problems. “Do you think any amendment in the Constitution would open doors of higher educational institutions for the have-nots that charge staggering fees?”

“We do not know.”

“Does an amendment in the Constitution guarantee a job for the jobless?”

“We have no idea.”

“Have they inducted an amendment that makes rulers answerable for each starving person who dies of hunger?”

“Can’t say.”

“Do you foresee that the street children will no more look for a piece of loaf in a garbage dump?”

“We don’t know.” “And, do you believe the scions of the powerful and influential persons who molest and murder hapless daughters of poor parents will not be allowed now to get away with their crimes? After all, the Constitution has been drastically amended!” “We have no idea.”

Robin, a young man of the neighbourhood asked, “Does amended Constitution insist the filthy rich to disclose the sources of their riches?”

Peera leaned over, and spoke to Faqeera in whispers. He asked, “Have you studied the Constitution?”

Faqeera whispered, “No.”

Young Robin tried to overhear their conversation. Faqeera did not like it. He politely asked Robin, “Will you please leave us alone for ten minutes.”

“Sure.” Robin rose from his seat, and left.

“What has gone wrong with the neighbourhood?” Peera asked. “Why do they relate their personal problems to the amendments to the Constitution?”

Faqeera said, “Thank God, they have not related the problems of broken marriages and infidel wives to the amendments!”

Peera and Faqeera are imbued with irresistible desire to serve the ailing humanity. During the day they remain in their one-room office cum residence, and provide free consultation to the dwellers in the semi-slum locality of the people who strive for making both ends meet. During the night Peera and Faqeera read proofs in a printing press. In the opinion of the disillusioned dwellers of the locality Peera and Faqeera belong to the clan of the wise people.

It was for the first time in the history of the locality that Peera and Faqeera had disappointed the neighbourhood with their ignorance about the Constitution. After ten minutes young Robin returned. He resumed his seat, and asked, “Are you ready to enrich me with your answer!” He sounded sarcastic.

“Dear Robin, this is an independent country,” Peera said. “The Constitution protects you. In case it doesn’t protect you thoroughly, it is drastically amended to protect you completely.” The answer was beyond the comprehension of young Robin whose only aim in life was to turn Robin Hood someday. He looked vacantly at Peera and Faqeera.

Faqeera said, “ The Constitution provides protection to all, rich and poor together.”

“What are the rights of the poor?” Robin asked. Faqeera scratched his head, and said, “Your fundamental right, to cast your vote in favour of an enlightened person, is protected in the Constitution.”

“But wise Faqeera, enlightened persons do not contest elections!” Robin exclaimed.

“Then, it is not a constitutional problem,” Faqeera said. “No constitution on earth can compel a person to contest elections.” “Are you suggesting, the poor are obliged to cast their votes in favour of the rich?” Robin asked.

Faqeera sighed, and said, “It is up to you Robin to deduct your own meaning from what I have said.”

Disappointed Robin left reluctantly.

Then arrived Preetam Parwana, the lunatic poet of the locality. He asked, “How simple is it to amend constitution?” Surprised, Peera queried, “Why do you ask?”

“I intend to take over the country someday,” lunatic poet Preetam Parwana said. “Thereafter, I would amend the Constitution to become the legitimate ruler of Pakistan.”