Unfinished stories

Mysteries of like-mindedness

January 19, 2003

By Amar Jaleel

Two like-minded friends, a nut and a nitwit, embarked upon to witness the nuances of like-mindedness. Following is the abridged account of what they saw and experienced.

A group of elderly health conscious persons sat together in the Senior Citizens’ Orphanage and engaged each other in lively discussion on the pros and cons of eating an apple a day for keeping a nasty doctor away. Not a solitary senior citizen disputed the nutrient value of an apple. They all believed it was rich in iron and vitamin C, and other minerals essential for the aged. They agreed apple was rich in antioxidants. The only drawback, they conceded in eating an apple a day was that it was a costly fruit, beyond the purchasing power of the abandoned senior citizens living an ignoble life either in the orphanage of their sons or sons-in-law.

A retired person can’t afford the luxury of eating an apple a day. Therefore, he can’t keep a doctor away. He keeps going to the doctor till his perpetual departure from this wonderful world. However, there existed consensus among the senior citizens that an apple a day was essential for keeping a lousy doctor away.

A nut inquired from a nitwit, “Who are they and what brings them together?”

The nitwit replied, “They are a group of like-minded senior citizens deeply interested in eating an apple a day.”

Few yogis in saffron robes rested under a huge Banyan tree, and curiously watched different species of monkeys playing and teasing each other over the extended thick branches of the tree. One of the yogis asked, “How is it that some monkeys have long tails, and others have shorter tails?”

“Brothers.” An elderly yogi said, “At the foot of the Himalayas I have watched scores of monkeys with no tails.”

A yogi on crunches said, “The monkeys live in different like-minded alliances according to the size of their tail.”

The nut inquired, “Who are they, and what brings them together?”

The nitwit replied, “They are like-minded persons huddled in an alliance. They are interested in monkeys.”

“Are they also interested in monkey business?”

“You can’t rule it out.”

Under the dark shadows of the defunct Kalapul in Karachi, a few persons in tatters sat cuddled together. They were a miserable lot. They seemed not to have had bathed for years. They were heroin and hashish addicts, and injected each other with lethal drugs. They discussed nothing, and remained engrossed in silence. If at all someone among them spoke, it was hard to comprehend.

“We are not birds of the feather, but we fly together.”

“I fly like an aeroplane.”

“I fly like a fish.”

“Don’t be silly. Fish swims. Only I fly like an aeroplane.”

“Were you ever hijacked?”

“I am a perpetually hijacked plane. I do not land. I keep flying.”

Bewildered, the nut looked at the nitwit, and asked, “Who are they, and what brings them together?”

The nitwit said, “They are like-minded persons of an alliance who give a damn to this world.”

Thereafter, the nitwit took it upon himself to elucidate, and to thoroughly explain the philosophy of like-mindedness to his nutty friend. The two friends went about looking for more groups of like-minded men, women, children, birds, animals and the mammals. While passing through a massive stinking garbage dump, the nitwit pointed his finger towards a flock of huge birds, and said, “What you see is an alliance of like-minded birds of prey affectionately called the scavengers.”

The nitwit then took his friend to the office of the elite fashionable women of the city. The nitwit said, “This is a group of like-minded women. They feel terribly concerned about the plight of the wretched rural women.”

Strolling along a deserted lane close to a slaughterhouse the two friends suddenly found themselves in front of a group of fat and flabby persons shouting and swearing at each other. The nut asked, “Who are they, and why are they yelling at each other?”

“Once they were a part of an alliance.” The nitwit explained, “They are now the dissidents trying to form an alliance of their own. They are called like-minded dissidents, and others are called the like-minded loyalists.”

Surprised the nut asked “But, why are they shouting at each other?”

“The like-minded among the like-minded are trying to pick up a group leader of choice.” The nitwit said, “After they pick up a leader they will split into more like-minded groups either hailing, or castigating the leader.”

Puzzled, the nut exclaimed, “Don’t tell me it is an on-going process!”

“It is, brother.” The nitwit said, “Like-mindedness has always been an on-going process in the history of mankind.”

“Then how is it that a like-minded group disintegrates into fragmentary groups?” The nut asked. The nitwit smiled, and said, “It is hallmark of a like-minded group without a mind.”